You Gotta Ask Yourself Some Questions!

Reflective thinking can be a good starting point when looking at personal development. Most coaching sessions centre round questioning and although I can't be with you face to face to develop where you go with your answers, the following questions will form a good springboard to start you thinking about your life. 

1. What are you doing when you feel most alive and fulfilled?

This is the place where time seems to disappear, anxiety melts away and your sense of engagement in the activity you are doing is complete. Whether it’s working with little kids, translating Russian poetry, skydiving, busking, cooking or even cleaning, write them all down.

2. What skills/abilities do you have?

Often when we are asked what we are good at we will just shrug our shoulders and say ‘oh I’m not that good at anything really’. We tend to take for granted the things we are good at and imagine that everyone can do that thing too. Nothing is too insignificant to write on this list, so even if its being able to follow a recipe effectively or being a great listener, write down all the things you do well.

3. What dreams/ambitions do you have?

You must forget about the ‘reasons why it’s crazy’ here and just search your heart. If you've always wanted to learn how to speak Chinese or fancied backpacking in Nepal write that down. If your ambition is to leave some kind of legacy in life, ask yourself  ‘what exactly does that look like?’. We all long for significance and for some that will look like reaching a place of influence in society and for others it may be providing a stable home for their children.

4. What things do you do that drain you of life?

Many of us spend way too much time doing things that drain us of life. These are the activities that tend to leave us feeling tired and very low. It can be anything from answering emails to spending too much time with people, or for the extroverts, spending too much time on your own! For some it may even be your job or the many commitments you have made. 

5. What angers and frustrates you?

I’m not talking here about someone who cuts you off on the motorway or takes too long at the supermarket checkout! Most people will have at least one issue that will really get them going when they hear about it. Suddenly you’ll see a facebook rant from them or they will talk very passionately about how wrong this particular thing is. There are a myriad of issues that can provoke an impassioned response from us, so write down yours.

6. What things hinder you the most?

This is the place to make an honest assessment of what holds you back. It may be a lack of some kind or most often a fear. Health issues, finances, fear of being alone, fear of rejection, etc. are just some of the things that can hinder our forward movement.

In my next blog I will give you some ways of further analyzing the answers to these questions and give suggestions on how you can use this reflection to move forward in your life.