tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57645774354478840512024-03-21T18:19:58.301-07:00mouldbreakersRecharge with Marjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06938321099436664882noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5764577435447884051.post-33314132582966635322014-12-06T10:27:00.002-08:002014-12-06T13:04:19.481-08:00"Bless You" is not just for Sneezing!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRpXwU-djQk6zouJ9swBMd9VHFhn4_BZDNhpm120VsLl60B56sbNi9Ehqlqumt78Ouk1PuUacHmdPcqlPum0L4X1KxsWx3t0s0DtteeDymt0hW5pO5lPvNKUZmal6yOh8m24KXQ3xwC-jj/s1600/sneeze.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRpXwU-djQk6zouJ9swBMd9VHFhn4_BZDNhpm120VsLl60B56sbNi9Ehqlqumt78Ouk1PuUacHmdPcqlPum0L4X1KxsWx3t0s0DtteeDymt0hW5pO5lPvNKUZmal6yOh8m24KXQ3xwC-jj/s1600/sneeze.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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We often say “bless you” when someone sneezes, but in
reality the ancient act of ‘blessing’ involves a whole lot more than just a few
throw away words given in response to a bodily function!</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you look up the dictionary meaning of blessing, you will
find a number of different definitions. I particularly like this one: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><i><br /></i></b></div>
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<b><i>‘Something promoting or contributing to happiness, well- being or
prosperity’.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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This implies that when people are regularly ‘blessed’ they
become happier, healthier and more prosperous.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It is helpful to look at a culture that actively uses 'blessing’.
The Jewish people are one such group. Their blessing involves five main
elements:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">1.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Meaningful touch</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">2.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Spoken words</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">3.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Expressing high value</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">4.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Picturing a special future</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">5.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">An active commitment</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Meaningful Touch<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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The image we often see when thinking of a Jewish blessing is
that of ‘hand on head’. To the Jews
it was a powerful image of transference from one person to another and was seen
when a father was passing on ‘his blessing’ to his son (as well as in other
contexts). Even today physical touch is a powerful communicator of love and
blessing (see <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5764577435447884051#editor/target=post;postID=6010961675339660619;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=7;src=postname" target="_blank">The Language of Touch</a> for more on this)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Spoken Words<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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In Jewish tradition the blessing is not just written down
or mystically 'passed on'. It is specifically SPOKEN. There is no doubt what the blessing is about as it is clearly articulated. Children are blessed weekly at the family ‘Shabbat’ meal and this regular input of words
must make a huge impact on the child. Spoken words can inspire,
encourage and communicate love and affirmation in a very tangible way. (For more on 'Love Languages' see <a href="http://unlockingbrilliance.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/so-i-thought-i-would-join-blogland-and.html" target="_blank">Speaking the Languages of Love</a>)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Expressing High Value<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw4vEMRX5Dq1iy8BkTwpTAWvX6put7V835CR2L2JmMfZSNC9dynX_ZAar5a50ZmNeZB1FJcizIqV0CX-uvw_lHGg8PTk8wg9BFCsOOSl3Lbl3GcYkTXVtBdAIv-jFU3vW1s1B_qEemSLg4/s1600/bowing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw4vEMRX5Dq1iy8BkTwpTAWvX6put7V835CR2L2JmMfZSNC9dynX_ZAar5a50ZmNeZB1FJcizIqV0CX-uvw_lHGg8PTk8wg9BFCsOOSl3Lbl3GcYkTXVtBdAIv-jFU3vW1s1B_qEemSLg4/s1600/bowing.jpg" height="152" width="200" /></a></div>
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It is interesting to note that the root of the Hebrew word ‘to
bless’ means ‘to bow the knee’. The act
of bowing before someone immediately gives a picture of showing honour or giving value. These days we only tend to bow before dignitaries or royalty. In the
Jewish culture ‘blessing’ involves attaching a high value to the one being
blessed. This is often done through the use of ‘word pictures’.</div>
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A ‘word picture’ connects with a character trait, an
emotional meaning or points to future potential. E.g. ‘You are going to be as strong as an ox’ or ‘You are like the heather growing on the mountainside. Wild and beautiful’. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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I remember my daughter giving me a powerful word picture. She
made a drawing of herself lying in bed with a thought bubble which said ‘my mum
is like a river to me’. It immediately made me think of all that I associated with
a river, like strength, flowing life, beauty, etc. and it made a deep impression on
me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Picturing a Special
Future<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Children often daydream about their future, but how many receive
words that picture a special future for them? Jewish fathers tell their children what they see in them in regards
to their future e.g. ‘You will grow to be a strong man, your work will prosper and your children will be blessed’ </div>
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Obviously care
needs to be taken that this picturing of a ‘special future’ is not manipulative
in nature. If you want your child to follow in the family business and insist on telling them ‘you WILL take over the business…..’ it be will manipulative and defeat the purpose of true ‘blessing’. </div>
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I have used this particular element of ‘the blessing’ with my
children, picturing success and calling out of them the things I see that they
are naturally good at. They always smile and I can sense the delight and re-assurance it brings them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>An Active Commitment<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Doing all of the above is no use without showing an active commitment
to the one being ’blessed’. There must be follow through. This will involve time, finances, study and consideration. </div>
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You cannot picture a special future as 'a
great piano player' without committing to buy some piano lessons, and if you want to accurately asses potential you need to truly 'become a student’ of the one you want to bless. So
the final element of the Jewish blessing involves following through with the kind
of support that is required to realise success.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhERE3uoJylgwo8K4_Rkv51dZAgnvJX0wsBOB-KLx_PfWpvy2VQi0cCT2Itjv-n7FuTHycivHqTnEZLaj_DJKuvdGBbV9ete6cCZfAiBcsnZPPRC13SExtDPtIq2_Y7wGo0JWiupN9Ato_d/s1600/bless+you.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhERE3uoJylgwo8K4_Rkv51dZAgnvJX0wsBOB-KLx_PfWpvy2VQi0cCT2Itjv-n7FuTHycivHqTnEZLaj_DJKuvdGBbV9ete6cCZfAiBcsnZPPRC13SExtDPtIq2_Y7wGo0JWiupN9Ato_d/s1600/bless+you.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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I hope you can see that this ancient form of
blessing can be brought into our culture
today and used as a wonderful tool to bring about that happiness, healthiness
and prosperity defined at the start of this blog.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Next time you say ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes, let it
be a reminder of the value of true blessing and whether it’s your kids, co-workers
or employees that you wish to bless, determine to use some of the elements I
have outlined here. I guarantee they will be lining up for more! </div>
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BLESS YOU!</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Recharge with Marjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06938321099436664882noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5764577435447884051.post-79874951239802641932014-08-26T02:27:00.000-07:002014-08-27T00:56:02.453-07:00Mind Games: 3 keys to keeping a healthy mind in a media mad world<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2aJRSB4bVLa7nwUbhDdLxnsjI7QjSZ9ocGXd4kw4iUR5czgIwfaROyskf_D7VXnjiazFLvfmQAorplLNweyJcJ6mpnQ22iKavLmjKnZNr_p5GjNa1k8AyfNBZP7rFMBjNeLJ9hju0WBcM/s1600/fast+food.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2aJRSB4bVLa7nwUbhDdLxnsjI7QjSZ9ocGXd4kw4iUR5czgIwfaROyskf_D7VXnjiazFLvfmQAorplLNweyJcJ6mpnQ22iKavLmjKnZNr_p5GjNa1k8AyfNBZP7rFMBjNeLJ9hju0WBcM/s1600/fast+food.jpg" height="235" width="320" /></a></div>
We all know that if eating fast food all day everyday will not make you a healthy bunny, but do we think about our minds in the same way?<br />
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In today's internet world we are daily bombarded with images, stories and global news and can access more information than most of us 'ingested' in one week just a decade ago. If you are finding yourself lacking in peace, with your thoughts taking you down a route that makes you agitated, anxious or sad it might just be that you are not feeding your mind in a healthy manner. (<i>Please note, I am not talking about clinical depression or mood disorders here and if you suspect you might be struggling with that, then don't hesitate to talk to your doctor</i>).<br />
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When it comes to our minds it will be helpful to consider these three keys:<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">1. What you focus on, you empower</span></b><br />
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When focusing on learning a new skill, your constant attention to it will enable you to improve and master that skill. However, if your focus is constantly on reading about every weird symptom your body is currently manifesting, the result is likely to be increased anxiety and agitation! Likewise, reading about difficult circumstances in other parts of the world can shift you from '<i>concerned and empowered to help'</i> into <i>'overwhelmed and overcome'</i> if you are not careful.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">2. Fail to plan and you plan to fail</span></b><br />
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If you were changing to a healthy diet you would make a plan, work out daily menus and consider what isles in the supermarket you should avoid! If you want to have a mind that is more at peace then you can't allow your eyes and mind to roam wherever the internet 'takes you'. A strategy needs to be considered which includes 'what isles you need to avoid'! This can also include giving yourself some internet/media breaks where you indulge in something radical like taking a walk or talking to someone! Try deciding what your limit for the day should be and maybe even set an alarm to help keep you to it!<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">3. Do a regular 'mind check up'</span></b><br />
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In the same way that you would step on the scales or consider how your body is feeling whilst in 'diet mode', remember to do a regular 'mind check up'. Ask yourself:<br />
<ul>
<li><b>What have I been thinking about for the bulk of my day?</b></li>
<li><b>What have I been reading or watching?</b></li>
<li><b>Did I really need to think, watch or read those things?</b></li>
<li><b>Do I feel better or worse as a result?</b></li>
</ul>
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I'm not suggesting you become ignorant of current issues or refuse to become better educated on matters that interest you, but I do think you need to figure out for yourself what your 'media tolerance' level is and be careful to guard your mind. After all, you won't be able to step into the world's problems and release your own unique brilliance if you are so soul weary from constant feeding on it. </div>
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Some thoughts to ponder!</div>
Recharge with Marjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06938321099436664882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5764577435447884051.post-57555602122343579362014-04-17T11:48:00.001-07:002014-04-17T11:48:28.598-07:00Better Responses<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWRDW8dshuU682g6jwMg3AS22KoPIlgr0yOS6XqndUIrbf33WSiZzaT2ZvraAjpr8zglF9omPUAw8WE18qXTlBhS9CTADMjMJHdaPKSjMbYOWJvGsE3tiio1eKn7xyLcrBUAK7E1RRk62s/s1600/tug-of-war.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWRDW8dshuU682g6jwMg3AS22KoPIlgr0yOS6XqndUIrbf33WSiZzaT2ZvraAjpr8zglF9omPUAw8WE18qXTlBhS9CTADMjMJHdaPKSjMbYOWJvGsE3tiio1eKn7xyLcrBUAK7E1RRk62s/s1600/tug-of-war.jpg" height="198" width="200" /></a></div>
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In my last blog <a href="http://unlockingbrilliance.blogspot.com/2014/04/you-just-pushed-my-button.html" target="_blank">'You Just Pushed my Button!</a>' I touched on some of the ‘fear buttons’ that we all have. I also highlighted some
of the unhealthy responses we fall into when those buttons are pressed. Its one
thing to recognise our unhealthy behaviour patterns, but it is altogether another
thing being able to break free from them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Here are four things
you can do to respond in healthier ways:</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>1. Take control of your thoughts, feelings and
actions <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Before you react, take
a breath and think! Say to yourself <i>‘my button just got pressed and normally I
would do x, y or z, but this time I’m going to…’</i> Work out some things you can
do instead, such as being honest to the one who pushed your button. E.g. you
could say <i>‘I need to be honest with you right now. You just hit a button and I’m
feeling rejected/angry/confused (fill in the blank).’ </i>This at least gives the
other person the chance to explain themselves and you might discover you are not seeing
things clearly. It might simply diffuse the situation, as the other person sees
that their words have not been helpful. There are any number of better
responses you can choose from, so think through some options ahead of time.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>2. Don’t give others the power to control your
feelings</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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We all tend to say
things like<i> ‘he made me mad’</i> or <i>‘she just went too far and I snapped’</i>. In essence
we are saying that other people control our feelings. Of course I’m not
suggesting we should be made of steel and be unmoved by hurtful or abusive
comments, but we need to develop a healthy self-esteem and learn what it is to
put boundaries in place. Remember, in a
tug of war it only takes one person to drop the rope for the war to end.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>3. Don’t create unrealistic expectations of
others</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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Stress is the gap
between what we expect to happen and what is actually happening, and the more
valuable an expectation the more intense the stress when it’s not being met. Having
some random person be nasty towards us at a bus stop is not going to bother us
as much as if it were our spouse or best friend speaking like that. We naturally
‘expect better’ from them. However, if your expectations begin to take you into
the realm where you are demanding more than they can reasonably give, you
create impossible standards for them to keep and the relationship will quickly
fall into stormy waters. When is the last time you talked through expectations
with those closest to you? It might be a worthwhile exercise.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>4. Choose forgiveness</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Of course this is
easier said than done, but it is said that choosing to hold onto un-forgiveness
is a bit like taking poison and hoping the other person gets sick! Challenge
yourself to always make the first move towards forgiveness and remember that most
people who offend you are probably doing so out of their own hurt. Forgiveness may
be the right response for them to begin the healing process in their own life. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Recharge with Marjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06938321099436664882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5764577435447884051.post-7863980938701334162014-04-03T11:39:00.000-07:002014-04-03T11:40:34.751-07:00You just pushed my button!<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%;">You may have heard is said that the definition of insanity is ‘doing the same things over
and over and expecting different results’. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 115%;">In relationships we tend to
repeat the same sorts of behaviours and wonder why we end up with the same problems. We
all have ‘fear buttons’ that get pushed from time to time e.g. fear of rejection, of looking
foolish, of being controlled etc. and often we resort to well-worn patterns of
reacting when someone pushes them.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"><b>Here are 5 ways people tend to react when a ‘fear
button’ is pressed</b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: large; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -18pt;"><b>1. Withdrawal </b></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUxr_V6M_q5kSQ5dmGe_zN50PbjS4rqZ-C-FLZXDxrRS2FD7iV4z2ZNII4i2hL03vsYu6JFxboRYLomleHBDU5WiuTTOlIaYE3E7gltQ-BILHxwFErSj6YL7kH-HBmtYz0pBY_H_A1ylR4/s1600/silent+treatment.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUxr_V6M_q5kSQ5dmGe_zN50PbjS4rqZ-C-FLZXDxrRS2FD7iV4z2ZNII4i2hL03vsYu6JFxboRYLomleHBDU5WiuTTOlIaYE3E7gltQ-BILHxwFErSj6YL7kH-HBmtYz0pBY_H_A1ylR4/s1600/silent+treatment.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%;">You retreat and avoid resolving the issue, often using ‘the
silent treatment’</span></div>
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<b style="line-height: 115%; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"> 2. Escalation </span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -18pt;"><b></b></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmOqiq0glisO8fYGEMWSB6gsJbKtMGyrer_JWISNK7tnG2RP0U_yeJidLQ5LUpomvcbqXX7ykUV_KQN3gcj6oHDElSUrHm3jQHiaQVu9YEvtPImHCY366vxPipRD_l9uJ-UZAvxIV76lmE/s1600/escalation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmOqiq0glisO8fYGEMWSB6gsJbKtMGyrer_JWISNK7tnG2RP0U_yeJidLQ5LUpomvcbqXX7ykUV_KQN3gcj6oHDElSUrHm3jQHiaQVu9YEvtPImHCY366vxPipRD_l9uJ-UZAvxIV76lmE/s1600/escalation.jpg" height="132" width="200" /></a><b></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%;">Your
emotions spiral out of control; you argue and can become physically or verbally
aggressive</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -18pt;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">3. Defensiveness </span></b></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -18pt;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRNlSYGrMNU4gGHxdIbOTm-bvxIk21SAZTsMkVpoxEiXHyPxeqbqNWPHSV_d_dd_jTXPCe7HYqi3Rm2BS7wBwFD3bS7ukKc8Dm4RMkAnRRlizqEI-dcpc7gOkrwP3CRglWXHz6dxmCTxzt/s1600/defensiveness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRNlSYGrMNU4gGHxdIbOTm-bvxIk21SAZTsMkVpoxEiXHyPxeqbqNWPHSV_d_dd_jTXPCe7HYqi3Rm2BS7wBwFD3bS7ukKc8Dm4RMkAnRRlizqEI-dcpc7gOkrwP3CRglWXHz6dxmCTxzt/s1600/defensiveness.jpg" height="137" width="200" /></a></b></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%;">Instead of
listening you defend yourself by providing ‘an explanation’ for things</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -18pt;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">4. Manipulation</span> </b></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7toquBqS8ZSQVmIRWDa4d6dCBsY7XFaOr4ZblrRCRl7T5HFH0PZSxmoCQID9OVkBTA6YSHuUzQcpSymbg6DP4DagjW8evqHtFJee22hApJgRf0349m03bts04XFKVblLT3arYiue-0z_v/s1600/manipulation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7toquBqS8ZSQVmIRWDa4d6dCBsY7XFaOr4ZblrRCRl7T5HFH0PZSxmoCQID9OVkBTA6YSHuUzQcpSymbg6DP4DagjW8evqHtFJee22hApJgRf0349m03bts04XFKVblLT3arYiue-0z_v/s1600/manipulation.jpg" height="200" width="123" /></a><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -18pt;"><b></b></span></div>
</div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%;">You use
controlling behavior to try and manipulate the other person to your own advantage</span></div>
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<b style="text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-size: large;">5. Sarcasm </span></span></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b style="text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -18pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEagnluu1t4wE8Hqtc1VpNWo_bUBLj5OfWJvyF6iwJuYfmGDp0u_HLSBfHeLEYwqU0YfemKC5_UJ3ShS_QqLL1eOAUPO5lshpM4ZFkPaN4jRERRU75BT93YOW-PRs8rCCt1T_0Td8CXtdg/s1600/sarcasm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEagnluu1t4wE8Hqtc1VpNWo_bUBLj5OfWJvyF6iwJuYfmGDp0u_HLSBfHeLEYwqU0YfemKC5_UJ3ShS_QqLL1eOAUPO5lshpM4ZFkPaN4jRERRU75BT93YOW-PRs8rCCt1T_0Td8CXtdg/s1600/sarcasm.jpg" height="160" width="200" /></a></span></b></div>
</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%;">You resort to devaluing and name </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%;">calling in order
to dishonour and bring shame</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 115%;"> </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 15.333333015441895px;">These behaviours are 'effective' to a degree, in that they may</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 15.333333015441895px;"> give the immediate desired outcome. For example, after someone has hit your 'fear of losing control' button, you may use some manipulation and find you regain a sense of control. Of course the long term result of this behaviour is ultimately disconnection and mistrust and a relationship based on manipulation can never be a healthy one.</span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 15.333333015441895px;">They key is recognising both your 'buttons' and your usual patterns of reacting, then finding new and better ways of responding. I will be blogging some more on this topic in the days to come.</span></div>
Recharge with Marjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06938321099436664882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5764577435447884051.post-56754324131303359312014-03-20T08:08:00.000-07:002014-03-20T08:08:09.484-07:00Delving Deeper<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgbBPk5JcCRZo7q25IEaa74SjzzU2Vm6pqWrSNV3RjIC-7Ap6IIFNyRqdLMkUCH6LZAgvC4OWsia4perrQe3ByCypE74fdtwWSxMAQE7ryHfyWrtuejL35_YBF85x3Ddxp6j7P4DL7QPKH/s1600/elephant.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgbBPk5JcCRZo7q25IEaa74SjzzU2Vm6pqWrSNV3RjIC-7Ap6IIFNyRqdLMkUCH6LZAgvC4OWsia4perrQe3ByCypE74fdtwWSxMAQE7ryHfyWrtuejL35_YBF85x3Ddxp6j7P4DL7QPKH/s1600/elephant.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">In my previous blog <a href="http://unlockingbrilliance.blogspot.com/2014/03/you-gotta-ask-yourself-some-questions.html" target="_blank">'You Gotta Ask Yourself Some Questions'</a> I asked six questions which should have stimulated some reflective thinking. I'm going to ask some more questions here and you'll need to refer to your previous answers, so find that notebook and get going. The elephant picture will make sense, just keep reading, this is leading somewhere I promise!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b>1. From the list of the things that make you
feel alive, how much time do you spend each week doing these
things? </b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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Beside your list literally write the number of hours on
average you spend each week doing these things.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p> </o:p> </div>
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<b>2. From the list of things that drain you of
life, how much time do you spend each week doing those things? <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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Once again literally write down the number of hours on average you spend doing these things</div>
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The balance between those lists should be eye opening. If the bulk of your
time is spent doing life draining things then it is no surprise that you
are not fulfilled or feel in your element. All of us have to
do some tasks that are less than thrilling, but if your list of things which bring you
joy has only a few hours beside it then you need to consider making some changes. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>3. From the list of what makes you angry, can you work out why these things anger you and can you identify areas where you could be part of the solution to the issues? </b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv5XfXKVzschlFqSWeQAx3_Ai-WjJRt8x-Hry5H-wsJM-jyPFpiYA0lSsW9b9cNJsYzEP-8FvZ2qR3pXwBZ5h-saNgFO1VBiCqQKHXJYtFFnTBQQOC6vLOQxR8ysL0kA-h429_K_XT9XUE/s1600/talking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv5XfXKVzschlFqSWeQAx3_Ai-WjJRt8x-Hry5H-wsJM-jyPFpiYA0lSsW9b9cNJsYzEP-8FvZ2qR3pXwBZ5h-saNgFO1VBiCqQKHXJYtFFnTBQQOC6vLOQxR8ysL0kA-h429_K_XT9XUE/s1600/talking.jpg" /></a></b></div>
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Usually the things that anger you have some personal trigger. Maybe you experienced an injustice in that area in the past or someone close to you did. Sometimes you can feel helpless to do anything other than have rant about it occasionally, but I believe there is always something you can do. Maybe a letter to a local politician or a discussion with another 'official' would be a place for you to get your views across. perhaps you could assist in fundraising or raising awareness concerning the issue. If your anger tends to be destructive then look at the deeper issues behind it and resolve to seek help to manage it in healthier ways.</div>
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<b>4. From your list of what hinders you, are you able to identify ways of moving forward? </b></div>
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Sometimes it’s about being courageous and just taking a step to do something new. If you want to improve your fitness but are too fearful of joining that class by yourself then try asking a friend to go with you. If it's a financial obstacle then you could talk to someone who is experienced in that area and see if you can put a manageable plan in place to deal with it. Solutions often become more apparent when we talk things through with someone and the act of opening up can make the obstacle seem smaller as our perspective on it often changes.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbIVfFiOHatBmBttNrM2fkFMm24opkfdHRJL9zaUJCXN3y-KUNJ-ae4JXvPh6_GLRAJ7Lv9zDajRCTj8g7boyQwdnKWQG5635FiMVy4u5wA6ssHzzxymW-etQkHgZk8H2U-7YA3omTe5NY/s1600/group+learning.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbIVfFiOHatBmBttNrM2fkFMm24opkfdHRJL9zaUJCXN3y-KUNJ-ae4JXvPh6_GLRAJ7Lv9zDajRCTj8g7boyQwdnKWQG5635FiMVy4u5wA6ssHzzxymW-etQkHgZk8H2U-7YA3omTe5NY/s1600/group+learning.jpg" height="149" width="200" /></a><b>5. From your list of
skills/abilities, what are you doing to use them or improve them? </b><br />
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Plenty people have raw talent but without adding
skill to that talent they never progress. There are simply loads of ways you can learn these days. Sometimes it's as simple as reading a book or watching an instructive youtube video. Another really effective way of improving is
to connect with others who share your passion. Not only does learning within a group
context heighten your skills, it can also be a lot of fun!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>6. Finally, look at your ‘dream/ambition’ list and ask yourself 'what you can I pursue right now and how can I do it?'</b></div>
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Obviously you need to consider your current life
circumstances and responsibilities first, but I can’t state emphatically
enough how important it is to make some movement in the right direction. We often look at the gap between where we are and where we aspire to be and become overwhelmed. However, as the saying goes, 'the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time'. Your brilliance is way too precious to stay locked up or dormant so even if you can't quite handle acting on all of these questions, pick just one, square up to it and take that first bite! </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Recharge with Marjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06938321099436664882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5764577435447884051.post-40370018403823718562014-03-16T12:39:00.001-07:002014-03-17T09:41:06.082-07:00You Gotta Ask Yourself Some Questions!<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
Reflective thinking can be a good starting point when looking at personal
development. Most coaching sessions centre round questioning and although I
can't be with you face to face to develop where you go with your answers, the
following questions will form a good springboard to start you thinking about
your life. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US">1. What are you doing when you feel most alive and
fulfilled?</span></b><br />
<b><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US"></span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy9raESL5J9PTsT_-UfQMeILZxLlhsAQPHUh1uWxr58hLrqLuAkJuzpTkm_N2PWUbSp4MJxC3L440ohcEfb9SM1Dsq4EAbUKHUiDUpr2vL-JlnWJms_-o7p3yee4szAguthEl1eSmsLYCK/s1600/alive.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy9raESL5J9PTsT_-UfQMeILZxLlhsAQPHUh1uWxr58hLrqLuAkJuzpTkm_N2PWUbSp4MJxC3L440ohcEfb9SM1Dsq4EAbUKHUiDUpr2vL-JlnWJms_-o7p3yee4szAguthEl1eSmsLYCK/s1600/alive.jpg" height="148" width="320" /></a></b></div>
<span style="text-align: center;">This is the place where time seems to disappear,
anxiety melts away and your sense of engagement in the activity you are doing is
complete. Whether it’s working with little kids, translating Russian poetry,
skydiving, busking, cooking or even cleaning, write them all down.</span><br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US">2. What skills/abilities do you have?</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Often when we are asked what we are good at we will
just shrug our shoulders and say ‘oh I’m not that good at anything really’. We tend to take for granted the things we are good at and imagine
that everyone can do that thing too. Nothing is too insignificant to write on
this list, so even if its being able to follow a recipe effectively or being a
great listener, write down all the things you do well.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US">3. What dreams/ambitions do you have?</span></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPIHFJ62I-fmspT_LoGGovVjrI0KVtxsnxsv7VR7gFM6GgdjiVD2b6LEiWVYOlDsKDQoHsF7D2AqHVwZkepFblQqYZ1bT-tdK_MJP3em44dM3iSWZcsaxnvjd7Z43b_DAjTWF_ducCplcp/s1600/dream.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPIHFJ62I-fmspT_LoGGovVjrI0KVtxsnxsv7VR7gFM6GgdjiVD2b6LEiWVYOlDsKDQoHsF7D2AqHVwZkepFblQqYZ1bT-tdK_MJP3em44dM3iSWZcsaxnvjd7Z43b_DAjTWF_ducCplcp/s1600/dream.jpg" height="131" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You must forget about the ‘reasons why
it’s crazy’ here and just search your heart. If you've always wanted to learn how to
speak Chinese or fancied backpacking in Nepal write that down. If your
ambition is to leave some kind of legacy in life, ask yourself ‘what
exactly does that look like?’. We all long for significance and for some that
will look like reaching a place of influence in society and for others it may
be providing a stable home for their children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US">4. What things do you do that drain you of life?</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"></span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9_xHOsDfGXutLpY8v2mKrxtSHhQs9I9EehH7OzxBnACUXz0QaaG2BVCMo3vkMcZJ3Ovkgvw2lEXCf4Gmhbyg79E2ENkrY9oHxyfgryMzmDaN6gFPiJ-4h9PPxJ0LUj0yD2a-t2YNCK_jg/s1600/weary.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9_xHOsDfGXutLpY8v2mKrxtSHhQs9I9EehH7OzxBnACUXz0QaaG2BVCMo3vkMcZJ3Ovkgvw2lEXCf4Gmhbyg79E2ENkrY9oHxyfgryMzmDaN6gFPiJ-4h9PPxJ0LUj0yD2a-t2YNCK_jg/s1600/weary.jpg" height="132" width="200" /></a></b></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Many of us spend way too much time doing things
that drain us of life. These are the activities that tend to leave us feeling
tired and very low. It can be anything from answering emails to spending too
much time with people, or for the extroverts, spending too much time on your
own! For some it may even be your job or the many commitments you have made. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US">5. What angers and frustrates you?</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I’m not talking here about someone who cuts you off
on the motorway or takes too long at the supermarket checkout! Most people will
have at least one issue that will really get them going when they hear about
it. Suddenly you’ll see a facebook rant from them<b> </b>or they will talk
very passionately about how wrong this particular thing is.<b> </b>There
are a myriad of issues that can provoke an impassioned response from us, so
write down yours.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US">6. What things hinder you the most?</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"></span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS7Q5_g0EWPjrpSHyTxQPepvupkSYfiL2eIGY9_Ad-T2E9pC_2nzag1XJSApG_ssNyHJt_AB7IVc8ne55x_L_da3UGvko33kW0dtoTyV11IwlvR1JZThxP72CoQ1RVVEhdZDctSaz-8PIM/s1600/wall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS7Q5_g0EWPjrpSHyTxQPepvupkSYfiL2eIGY9_Ad-T2E9pC_2nzag1XJSApG_ssNyHJt_AB7IVc8ne55x_L_da3UGvko33kW0dtoTyV11IwlvR1JZThxP72CoQ1RVVEhdZDctSaz-8PIM/s1600/wall.jpg" height="103" width="200" /></a><b></b></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This is the place to make an honest assessment of
what holds you back. It may be a lack of some kind or most often a fear. Health
issues, finances, fear of being alone, fear of rejection, etc. are just some of
the things that can hinder our forward movement.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In my next blog I will give you some ways of
further analyzing the answers to these questions and give suggestions on how
you can use this reflection to move forward in your life.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Recharge with Marjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06938321099436664882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5764577435447884051.post-5455486369829513372014-03-12T08:43:00.000-07:002014-03-12T08:43:02.739-07:00Where's my Gift?<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii-ejVNt3Ce_6JGW0wPW1peW_dnHwEgzetD0jrggQ2Rnmexhz7_IoUv2DJp2v9Dn-L4p6O-utoVMEKIJgYypQfD_irGxziQfxlXBkmqxe-C1RJ2oQmM5v8hlJDJ7L-vEo2UpOgrBlM5sRV/s1600/gift+giving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii-ejVNt3Ce_6JGW0wPW1peW_dnHwEgzetD0jrggQ2Rnmexhz7_IoUv2DJp2v9Dn-L4p6O-utoVMEKIJgYypQfD_irGxziQfxlXBkmqxe-C1RJ2oQmM5v8hlJDJ7L-vEo2UpOgrBlM5sRV/s1600/gift+giving.jpg" height="111" width="200" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">Gift giving
is found in all cultures. When children reach a certain stage they will begin
presenting their parents with gifts. Whether it’s a flower from the garden, an ‘interesting’
stone they found on the ground or a roughly drawn picture on a napkin, the gift
will<b> </b>communicate love. </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">When you
receive a gift it is not so much the intrinsic value that is important, rather the
fact that someone thought about you and took time to pick out a gift that they
hoped you would like.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">Whilst it is true that
most people appreciate gifts, for some people this 'love language' will speak far
louder than others. The person who particularly responds to gifts really sees
them as visual symbols of love and without these symbols they may question your
love. For an overview of the five love languages read <a href="http://unlockingbrilliance.blogspot.com/2014/02/so-i-thought-i-would-join-blogland-and.html" target="_blank">Speaking the Languages of Love.</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b>How to figure out if someone’s love language is gifts:</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDuZn1STOuNY_wkDWkm3JtA6m7akLpZcUMXdfPGKMAieed9tn7ueWvYrAzt1imX4CLnvtPPk5J0YxWlby1iqKtCGW67UOOSEov_dL5xIweyiPH7fYzZnmewRPpxjF2YFNBaoVn5TpoK-j8/s1600/Child-giving-flowers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDuZn1STOuNY_wkDWkm3JtA6m7akLpZcUMXdfPGKMAieed9tn7ueWvYrAzt1imX4CLnvtPPk5J0YxWlby1iqKtCGW67UOOSEov_dL5xIweyiPH7fYzZnmewRPpxjF2YFNBaoVn5TpoK-j8/s1600/Child-giving-flowers.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">If it
is a child, they will tend to hold onto things given to them in a way that
other children </span><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;">wouldn't</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">. They would proudly take you round their room and
show you various things on display and tell you exactly who gave them the gift
and where it came from. Even things like little shells or leaves will hold
significant importance to them and as a result, the idea of having a ‘clear out’
may provoke an extreme emotional response!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinKxeC41LQuY9WaEkci4c-SDpyJZEBNn7iHP-4yy124jKnX4K-uWftV-ygL7vCmXMCjnh8_jINxirDZmIjLxRI-DY87UI1kior_CCO7c1c9wkCOKYOfKvEFAw-tLs7C9Vc4_btQyz5J0hK/s1600/adult+gift.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinKxeC41LQuY9WaEkci4c-SDpyJZEBNn7iHP-4yy124jKnX4K-uWftV-ygL7vCmXMCjnh8_jINxirDZmIjLxRI-DY87UI1kior_CCO7c1c9wkCOKYOfKvEFAw-tLs7C9Vc4_btQyz5J0hK/s1600/adult+gift.jpg" height="200" width="132" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">As an adult,
it will be similar and often can look a little bit like ‘hoarding’. Many times their
home will be full of trinkets, pictures, pens and even fridge magnets that were
given to them over the years. They will remember who gave them the gift and
will emotionally connect the item to the one who gave it, and as with the child who loves gifts, the idea of clearing out will not compute!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">Some things
to remember about giving gifts:</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b>1. Price is
less important that ‘value’ </b></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">Ask yourself ‘will it be valuable in the mind of the one
to whom I’m giving?’</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="line-height: 115%;">2. Give with
sincerity</b><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">As with all the love languages it will very quickly become clear if
the gesture is sincere or whether it is casual or manipulative in manner.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="line-height: 115%;">3. Use your
imagination </b></div>
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">Anyone can give a box of chocolates or flowers and although those
gifts are lovely, if you can really tailor your gift in a special way to the
one receiving it, then you will increase its impact.</span></div>
</div>
Recharge with Marjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06938321099436664882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5764577435447884051.post-60109616753396606192014-03-09T08:13:00.000-07:002014-03-09T08:17:11.785-07:00The Language of Touch<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlN_EV6MbymUTzuti4vYsGYcBNNhWO9RmjDKU_COgstNscdQRwL-135A63JWgOBm-N8WBXcSvY4Y_QQb2jUPz5Vw50pRLwidHGkP5WQFmz4H_XulhnzLvmAmmVPFvq9gKkA92Bf1Gm798E/s1600/polar-bear-hug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlN_EV6MbymUTzuti4vYsGYcBNNhWO9RmjDKU_COgstNscdQRwL-135A63JWgOBm-N8WBXcSvY4Y_QQb2jUPz5Vw50pRLwidHGkP5WQFmz4H_XulhnzLvmAmmVPFvq9gKkA92Bf1Gm798E/s1600/polar-bear-hug.jpg" height="183" width="200" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">‘Physical Touch’
is one of the five love languages as described by Dr Gary Chapman in his book 'The Five Love Languages' (For an overview of this read <a href="http://unlockingbrilliance.blogspot.com/2014/02/so-i-thought-i-would-join-blogland-and.html" target="_blank">Speaking the Languages of Love</a>)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">We all need
to be touched and held. Studies have shown that babies who are held, hugged and
kissed develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long
periods of time without physical contact.The caring profession also know the value of touch in making patients feel less anxious and more secure. Although we all appreciate touch, the</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> 'language' of physical touch will talk much louder to some than to others.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"><b>Children </b></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQo9cv7_F20xJEEAH0lDIkxSdzzeCOrTXF_94Yy6oD-lnT1ECnF3AkoyBIwt_eYUeZNza9hQj3OY_qQLvNU-IsPSOFQR4xBXDALKP3R45-obnd4aVqp43dIrualJvCuVjWlZJFKxIYoaKw/s1600/Grandma-Hugs.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQo9cv7_F20xJEEAH0lDIkxSdzzeCOrTXF_94Yy6oD-lnT1ECnF3AkoyBIwt_eYUeZNza9hQj3OY_qQLvNU-IsPSOFQR4xBXDALKP3R45-obnd4aVqp43dIrualJvCuVjWlZJFKxIYoaKw/s1600/Grandma-Hugs.png" height="133" width="200" /></a></b></span></blockquote>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">If you have
children you will probably be able to guess which ones really like physical
touch. They are likely to be the ones who climb up on your knee or clamber all
over you whenever you are sitting down and as they get older they will find
other ways of touching you. Sometimes with boys they will be the ones who enjoy
wrestling with their dads or almost ‘punching’ their mums as they walk past.
These can all be signs of the desire for physical touch. Boys and girls who have experienced healthy physical affection growing up are far more likely not
to want to get involved with anything unhealthy because they have their need
for physical touch already met. If you know your child responds to physical
touch, then you need to consider yourself lucky. I know with one of my children all it takes is a few minutes of
hugging or sitting closely with her to fill up her ‘love tank’. However, my other child values quality time and that is not something you can ‘rush’ with her!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"><b>Adults</b></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNIoC6srJDeuOgE0_WMRD7b7yK7mL6DLeaKZ2vdj_dJl-m7OLR3UikHBH8uaa7v5I5u_9nrPqKYDAXLnOXwiM6VIrpbsfQfxBuBaSivklx5GGy-uuNr38_-Feup5XJ2oX8uiv84kxyvwr1/s1600/mccain_bush_hug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNIoC6srJDeuOgE0_WMRD7b7yK7mL6DLeaKZ2vdj_dJl-m7OLR3UikHBH8uaa7v5I5u_9nrPqKYDAXLnOXwiM6VIrpbsfQfxBuBaSivklx5GGy-uuNr38_-Feup5XJ2oX8uiv84kxyvwr1/s1600/mccain_bush_hug.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"><b></b></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">As adults physical
touch can be more of a minefield. Almost any physical touch in the workplace
can be very easily misconstrued and anything other than a handshake, a high five or a gentle back slap is not advised. Even with friends, not everyone is a
‘touchy feely’ type. What is easy about physical touch though, is you will learn
really fast if it’s not appreciated! We’ve all tried to hug someone only to
have them pull back or been through the head-clashing, manhandling awkwardness
of trying to hug or give someone a kiss on the cheek when it’s really not
worked! It’s enough to put anyone off, but for those who really feel affirmed
by some physical touch it is worth making an effort. Stick to safe touches like
a hand on an arm or shoulder and go for the more intimate hugs with those
closest to you whom you know will enjoy it.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">Of all the
‘love languages’ this one can be the hardest to get right at times, but once
again with a little thought, attention and </span><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;">practice</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> your loved ones will
appreciate your effort. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Recharge with Marjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06938321099436664882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5764577435447884051.post-67524236011013320042014-03-04T10:37:00.000-08:002014-03-04T10:43:05.253-08:00The Gift of Time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCOo_u4BVQlqU1Yp_DfN6PfqJrDslLF77wa9fHL-fhALh4pVrxgwbeZP-cAOv4ARFsVOmikpzWtbwjbWsVn6TN5M6in2ayy4cNCm1UCbMpcrozrMRCROyZOi-nTKhvFFcy6asBFVil4z3-/s1600/quality+time.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCOo_u4BVQlqU1Yp_DfN6PfqJrDslLF77wa9fHL-fhALh4pVrxgwbeZP-cAOv4ARFsVOmikpzWtbwjbWsVn6TN5M6in2ayy4cNCm1UCbMpcrozrMRCROyZOi-nTKhvFFcy6asBFVil4z3-/s1600/quality+time.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">'Time is money' is a well quoted statement, especially in the business world. We have realised that we can regain many things; money, health, opportunities, relationships,</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> etc. but the one thing we cannot regain is time. So w</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">hen you give the gift of your time to another human being it makes a powerful statement about the value you place on them. </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">When thinking about giving quality time to another person, you need to understand the difference between<b>
connection</b> and <b>proximity</b>. For example, you can be with someone in a room watching a video
together and think you are spending quality time, but really there is very
little connection involved in that scenario. For true connection you need to be engaging in some
good conversation, where you draw out thoughts and feelings and share what is in your heart. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">Listening,
talking and giving of yourself is really what quality time is all about. If the
person you are with </span><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;">doesn't</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> have your undivided attention then they will quickly pick up that you are not interested in being with them. For some keys to quality conversation read my article <a href="http://unlockingbrilliance.blogspot.com/2014/02/the-secret-to-being-great.html" target="_blank">The Secret to Being a Great Conversationalist.</a></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">Being truly ‘present in the moment’ with someone is an art that seems to be less </span><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;">practiced</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> in our fast paced culture of busy lives with smart phones claiming all
our attention. But when you give of yourself in this way to someone you make a huge deposit in their life and nurture the relationship. </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">It is often the ones who are closest to us that we spend the least time with. We may occupy the same space with them, but do we really connect and give them our time? Can I challenge you today to make the </span><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;">investment</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> of time with your friends and family? Both you and they will be glad you did.</span></div>
Recharge with Marjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06938321099436664882noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5764577435447884051.post-18056566546883661622014-02-28T13:22:00.000-08:002014-03-01T11:45:38.715-08:00Show Your Love!<div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1WYnjhMYyZJLsivu6F75ZkMLCRtJx3-Bh6_UWIdx6Sunk-9nf2fC2dVG3jg-ZbXegKX9AF51FTracy4-xEli4cSp6T9HBfM4yfhDLJLTyoBokrT1louJmzguZjM2yEaoj72GBDATiRDLc/s1600/show+love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1WYnjhMYyZJLsivu6F75ZkMLCRtJx3-Bh6_UWIdx6Sunk-9nf2fC2dVG3jg-ZbXegKX9AF51FTracy4-xEli4cSp6T9HBfM4yfhDLJLTyoBokrT1louJmzguZjM2yEaoj72GBDATiRDLc/s1600/show+love.jpg" height="188" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="line-height: 115%;">It has been said that love not shown is love not known. Maybe you grew up in a culture or household where demonstrations of love were rare and considered 'schmaltzy' or just plain </span><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;">unnecessary</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">. If you did then you were likely to have felt unsure about whether you were really loved. Perhaps your family members were </span><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;">demonstrative</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> in showing love but they just didn't speak 'your language' often enough. </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">Imagine a man who showed love to is wife by cleaning and getting dinner ready each night for her coming home from work. It was his way of showing her he valued and cared for her. Sadly she never 'heard' his love and after many years complained saying </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><i>'You never have any time for me. You are always busy cleaning or cooking and never just sit down with me and take a half hour to chat and let me share my heart'</i>. </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">He can't believe his ears and says<i> </i></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><i>'You mean I don't have to do all this stuff for you any more? All I have to do is sit with you and give you half an hour of my undivided attention and chat and let you talk?' </i></span><span style="line-height: 115%;">He chooses to do this and within few weeks his wife is happier and feels a much stronger connection with her husband. </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">You too may have yearned to 'hear' love in a way that was rarely spoken in your home and that also may have left you feeling unsure about how loved you were.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">I hope you can see that it is really important to show love or affirmation and do it in a way that is really 'heard' by the ones to whom you are trying to 'speak'! For a quick overview of the five love languages, read my previous blog <a href="http://unlockingbrilliance.blogspot.com/2014/02/so-i-thought-i-would-join-blogland-and.html" target="_blank">Speaking the Languages of Love</a>. </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;">There are three ways that will help you identify the 'languages' of your friends and family:</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b>1. Study their ways of behaving.</b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">Do they buy you little gifts or treats or are they always wanting to spend time with you by suggesting coffee dates or outings? Do they touch or hug often or are they more verbal in telling you something encouraging? Are they always doing things for you or offering to run errands etc.? There are LOADS of clues there as people do tend to speak they language they actually long to hear.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b>2. Ask.</b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">Say something like 'What can I do or say right now that would help you feel more affirmed or loved?' This </span><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;">may seem like a pretty up-front or even strange kind of question to the hearer, but if you preface it with telling them you really want to be able to improve and strengthen your relationship, then it will give it context!</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;"><b>3. Try them all.</b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;">Just try using a combination of all the languages and over a week or two you should begin to see which ones have the best effect. Then you can maybe increase using these and lessen the use of the others. By this time your friend/child/partner is going to be really feeling the love and all the effort you have put in is going to feel so worth it!</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;">With nothing to lose and everything to gain, why not give this 'love languages' thing a go? Your friends and family with thank you for it!</span></div>
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Recharge with Marjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06938321099436664882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5764577435447884051.post-19239977099399367672014-02-25T05:04:00.000-08:002014-02-28T07:37:21.789-08:00The Secret to being a Great Conversationalist<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia1IiIskYNjID5HwKMaUzPZvHG3vQrFMaa_A_MYrnwMFCTXuFxIMbxjWxIPVI-j85Cmf3Oa2kxP2C7ztuLKlzl1e3sZm4DxBdgfqWgNWcmTGqgSc4rUY16Nsfqm5QcbLC03tCy1RJVBZXA/s1600/conversation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia1IiIskYNjID5HwKMaUzPZvHG3vQrFMaa_A_MYrnwMFCTXuFxIMbxjWxIPVI-j85Cmf3Oa2kxP2C7ztuLKlzl1e3sZm4DxBdgfqWgNWcmTGqgSc4rUY16Nsfqm5QcbLC03tCy1RJVBZXA/s1600/conversation.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">Do you know what the number one secret of good conversation
is? </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">I can tell you it’s not being articulate or having great general
knowledge and it’s not even being able to give good advice (though all these
things help). The key to being a great conversationalist is quite simply being a
good listener.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">I can
guarantee that if you have ever left a party and said to yourself,<i> 'I had a
great conversation with that person'</i>, it’s because they were a good listener.
They would likely have allowed you to speak and say all that you wanted to say, they
would probably have asked great questions that opened you up, and they would have given
you feedback that showed they were paying attention to all you were saying.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">The good
news is anyone can learn to be a good listener. Here are five things all good listeners do: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b>No 1. They
give their undivided attention. </b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">They make eye contact and are not looking
over your shoulder at what else is going on in the room or constantly checking
their phones!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b>No 2. They don’t interrupt.</b> </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">In other words they allow you to say <b><i>all</i></b> that you want to,
<b><i>before</i></b> they speak!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b>No 3. They
concentrate.</b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">They refuse to let their minds wander onto what the football score is or
what they are cooking for dinner tonight!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b>No 4 They
make positive responses.</b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">They listen with their
whole body, so they will maybe nod their heads, make appropriate facial
expressions or they might lean forward to indicate engagement.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b>No 5 They know
when and how to ask the right questions.</b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">There are two types of questions that are
effective when listening. The first kind are reflective questions where you ask a person, <i>‘how did that make
you feel?’</i> or <i>‘was that the outcome you wanted?’</i> The second type are clarifying
questions, where you say something like<i> ‘correct me if I’m wrong but what I
think you are saying is….’</i> This tells the other person that you have been
listening and are interested.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">All it takes is a little mindfulness and lots of </span><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;">practice</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> and you can become a good listener....and in turn a GREAT conversationalist!!</span></div>
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Recharge with Marjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06938321099436664882noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5764577435447884051.post-7499642624121240392014-02-19T16:28:00.001-08:002014-02-28T07:37:39.007-08:00Speaking the Languages of Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2JHTi4Bo5Wy1gax9wFCP8v2-OyUC5Iq_tE2X_yCDuP-jeRG62i4dt6L4TSyt2MEVhh38QWGuJ10jKIT34HIUHMm7wiQbEnBUnOb_7JNImu0JvbOoDVpcYEf7iHN2og9zLlBQgZNmMjQhq/s1600/love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2JHTi4Bo5Wy1gax9wFCP8v2-OyUC5Iq_tE2X_yCDuP-jeRG62i4dt6L4TSyt2MEVhh38QWGuJ10jKIT34HIUHMm7wiQbEnBUnOb_7JNImu0JvbOoDVpcYEf7iHN2og9zLlBQgZNmMjQhq/s1600/love.jpg" /></a></div>
So I thought I would join 'blogland' and include an occasional piece of writing with my mix of comments, quotes and videos found on my facebook page.<br />
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If you have been following the mouldbreakers facebook page you will see I have started a series looking at ways of affirming people. Some of you may recognise the material as the 'Love Languages', famously written about by Dr Gary Chapman. It's a simple concept but one which, when understood and practised, can pay HUGE dividends in all of your relationships.<br />
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The premise is that there are five basic ways to communicate love or affirmation to someone:<br />
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1. Words of Affirmation<br />
2. Quality Time<br />
3. Acts of Service<br />
4. Physical Touch<br />
5. Giving Gifts<br />
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Most people will have one or two 'languages' that mean most to them. The trouble comes when we are trying to communicate love or affirmation to someone in a language that they really don't 'speak'. E.g. I can spend time talking to my child, but if they really feel loved by receiving physical touch they won't have their 'love tank' filled up without receiving some cuddly time! Likewise you could hug someone all day long, but if 'acts of service' is what speaks loudest to them they are not going to feel loved or affirmed without some tangible act that serves and shows them you care. To the 'acts of service' speaker the statement 'actions speak louder than words' is very apt.<br />
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They key thing is to learn the language of those you care about and begin to speak it. I did this with my children. I simply said to each of them in turn 'you know mummy and daddy love you don't you?' to which they answered 'oh yes'. Then I asked 'how do you know we love you?'. One of them answered 'oh...because you cuddle me and give me kisses'. The other said 'I know because you play games with me and talk with me'. One was speaking the language of physical touch and the other quality time.<br />
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Most people enjoy aspects of all five languages, but there will usually be one or two that they need to receive regularly to truly 'feel the lurve'! I'll maybe blog some more on this topic, but for now have a think about what language speaks loudest to you. The clue is in what language you most often speak to others....as we tend to give what we would like to receive.<br />
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<br />Recharge with Marjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06938321099436664882noreply@blogger.com0